I’ve had a really bad cold. Today has been the first day I’ve felt anything like normal for a whole week and so I thought I’d get my digital camera out and take some instruction shots for my next film development post. I quickly realised that what I was trying to communicate doesn’t  really work on a flat lay, and I think I’d rather film it anyway!

As I had everything out and the camera set up on an actual tripod (a bit unusual for me), I decided to play with some ideas I’d been having to see if I could develop those a bit – just to try things out and see what I’ll need to do to get the proper thing done but with no pressure on myself to get anything right.

Using my iPhone to control my camera, the Fuji XT2, I initially worked with it set to it’s standard colour, then I changed to monochrome and immediately felt much happier with the shots I was producing.

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I preferred the monochrome shots because there were too many colours going on; those in the shirt, my hair, my make up, the wallpaper. It was all too much.

 

Like most photographers, I feel really uncomfortable in front of the camera. I’ve taken quite a lot of self portraits over the past year, mainly because my boys are at an age where they don’t want to pose for me and so I have become my only constantly available option, but it doesn’t get any easier.

I’ve been doing a lot of my visual thinking work in my sketchbook since I started this course; I used to find myself sharing everything on Instagram, but I suppose I’ve been very quiet on social media lately. I really need time to experiment without fear of judgement, and a place where I can try out images that my children’s friends won’t see come up in their Instagram feed!

On this course there is a requirement to keep a journal for a few weeks and I’m doing that in my sketchbook too. I find that I want a fuller record for myself of what I’ve been looking at and thinking. By doing this on paper I can already see connections that I can’t see with a purely online record. Plus having a physical record every day is really helping me to experiment with ideas.

I was writing a journal entry in my sketchbook the other day and I remembered a photograph of myself as a child that I wanted to include. It feels like a really honest image of me, one where I’m too young to be forced to pretend to be someone else and I am being totally myself.

childhood

So I think I was inspired by that idea at first, of really trying to find an honest version of me today. I realise that I can’t do it looking at the camera. I just can’t seem to relax and I end up pulling all sorts of awkward looking faces and that’s why I just relaxed and looked at the phone.

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True me?

I think I’ve been successful like this. These are honest; they’re honest about an aspect of me, about who I am and what I’m like.

Next I wanted to play with getting some movement. This is where this pattern shirt works well; it isn’t something I wear a lot, but I thought the pattern would be interesting in the context and it was.

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Then I decided to grab my purple mermaid wig and play at being someone else.

This is all initial work for my assignments on this course. As usual, I am playing with various ideas and finding one that I really want to use. I feel a bit freer than usual to not necessarily do these in order; I am finding myself working on all of the assignments at once really, certainly in terms of initial ideas and experiments. I think that way the whole body of work I give in will be more coherent and I would really like that.

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Playing at being someone else

I think it’s interesting that the shirt, to me at least, reads differently here. I knew the purple wig would probably read as light brown or blonde as I’ve used it before, but the character of the shirt feels different. The only thing is, seeing these images makes me want to make a kimono. I also want to make a fitted blue cord single breasted jacket, and I have a real need to do some painting at the moment too so I’ll have to make sure I can get rid of this cold quickly and get a move on with the degree work and all the other work too. I can’t believe February is going so fast.

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Lipgloss